woman

Woman.
Alive and Moving.
Growing and flourishing.
Pregnant with Life
and Love.
Awake and
Free.

finding good friends

intimacy.
closeness.
love.
friendship.

we all crave it and long for it... To be loved-- that is what is.

B and i talked about friendship one night. people desire closeness, but the truth of it is that we will only have a few friendships that will last a lifetime- only a handful of intimate friendships. when B said that, i thought that that was one of the saddest things i'd heard in a while. i couldn't help but think, "i only get a few? a FEW is all i can hope for?" she said what it really comes down to is convenience- whoever's around. it's so true.

no wonder people don't feel as though their lives are fulfilled unless they get married. 

worth

amy said,
"we care what people think of us, even as children we do."

yeah, i thought. we do.
we were built that way.
to have someone tell us who we are.

what if i lose that?
or rather, if i change
does my worth change?
i was never like this before, ya know.
splotches.
stains.
yuck.
i'm doing my best to let you wash me.
zeal and passion misplaced.
Time thrown away.

i'm ready for you to come and find me.
i'll be right here waiting.
to be found.

love lives.

love lives, ya know?
have you ever just felt it?
the love that is Alive in you?
it has a beat.
it courses through your veins.
it is Life Blood.
it swells in you.
it takes you captive,
and all you can do is give it.
it's the kind of love that is Real.
and you know your life is nothing
but the Love that beats in side of you.
because it has become your Life.
it makes you know that receiver of this Love
is the One you were born to be with.
you were created to collide with them.
it's glorious. and feels electrifying.
you can wrap yourself in this Love like a blanket.
it keeps you safe and warm.
it gives you Life.
and if Everything left tomorrow,
it would stay. because it's permanent.
nothing can break it.
in it, you lose yourSelf, but find the You.
there is a love that lives.
ya know?...

a Christmas prayer

O Lord, may the spirit of Christmas fill our hearts this eve,
And may the prayers of the holy birth fill our prayers tonight.

In the spirit of God, may it all be for something.
In the spirit of the prophets, may our dreams become reality.
In the spirit of the angels, may the whispers of hope fill our songs.
In the spirit of Mary, may our fear turn to faith.
In the spirit of Joseph, may our doubts turn to trust.
In the spirit of the shepherds, may our call to worship come loud and true.
In the spirit of the star, may You ever guide us in our journey.
In the spirit of the magi, may our gifts for You be of value to You.
In the spirit of King Herod, may our greedy desires be fruitless efforts.
In the spirit of Jesus, may Your presence touch the earth and may our hearts be re-born.

In the spirit of that one night when light was born, may our hearts be filled with the peace and stillness of Love.

Amen.

Jesus the human

As a Christian, I've been pondering this...

Why did God choose to make Jesus a man? How would things have been different if Jesus was a woman? Isn't God gender neutral? What are the implications of all this?

Before I say anything on the subject, I need to say this: I believe God was right in making Jesus a man (as God always seems to do the right thing), and the implications of this are huge and are not always thought about and taken into account. First of all, the time period in which Jesus lived was extremely patriarchal. If Jesus was a woman, he would not have had the same impact and credit that people gave him. Granted there were women prophets in that time period, but they didn't have the same kind of influence. One thing the church has struggled with and still does today is that Jesus had/has feminine qualities (he is moved to pity, has compassion, weeps openly for his dead friend, etc.). How do you approach that? I think it's something to be embraced, not ignored. Sociology has proved that masculinity and femininity are determined mostly by social construction, not biology. In other words, we as a society choose what men and women's qualities are. Men are more restricted in their gender roles when it comes to "feminine qualities." Jesus opens up a whole new door.

While we largely ignore parts of Jesus' sex and gender, we over emphasize other parts. We say, "the Father and Son." What about the Mother, the Daughter? Are we all not God's children? This is another reflection of the time period. In the Bible it calls us to protect the widows and the fatherless. This is because if you didn't have a father, you weren't anybody. You had no home, no income. You were powerless. The man, the head of the household, was the provider.  He gave the family a name.  But God is gender neutral. There is a mother heart to God. God is like a parent.  Jesus is not masculine or feminine.  He represented all of humanity.  

There is the saying, "God created us in His image, and we returned the favor."  Is this our attempt to make God more human and thus more comprehensible and understandable?

There is still much to be said on this, but this is just a taste...

happiness & joy

I read a while ago on the BBC that over 1 in 10 websites is pornographic.

That's a lot of websites.  What does that say about humanity?  Well, we obviously like sex and pleasure.  I wonder how many people are actually looking at these sites.  Is it 10% of the population or maybe more?  I don't know.

We, as inhabitants of the developed countries, seem awfully consumed with what can make us happy and provide pleasure-- techno gadgets, delicious food made completely of chemicals and unnatural substances, escapism through movies and music, clothes that wear us instead of us wearing them, the cycle of wanting (which we turn into needing without so much as blinking) and getting the latest 'thing'. 

People aren't driven by their own fulfillment.  All they can eat are shadows.  They crave happiness and don't know how to seek joy.  They fill themselves with Nothing.

Do most people even understand joy?  Joy can be tricky.  One can have joy, but not be happy.  But the unhappiness is only for a moment.  Joy is a river that runs deep.

touch

It's such an intricate part of intimacy. H said once that [American] adults usually only get touched in romantic or sexual ways, so they associate being touched with sexuality.  But that's not all that touch is.  I know that many other cultures handle touch differently (i.e. holding hands as friends is acceptable).  For now, I'm just pondering Americans and the other folks from the developed world and how they view touch.  Americans tend to be very individualistic, and they view themselves as having their own bubble within which they move about the world.  They also don't often like it if people encroach on their bubble uninvited. 

Every human being craves touch.  Babies die with out it.  People harden when they're left untouched.  We have gotten confused-- touching is not always sexual.  Somehow we have hidden, lost, and/or muddled that desire for touch.  It's almost as if we've isolated ourselves in our individualistic bubbles.  The thought of a lot of 'friendly' contact scares us, and we shy away from it.

What have we come to?
How have we gotten so mixed up with this particular human need and desire?

-------------------------

touch.
one touch can be magic.
like a tiny spark in the dark.
a rush of warmth to a cold soul.
within touch is every word in silence.
it brings us a hope that shimmers below the surface.
touch calls us to something deeper.
beyond what we can see.
touch is love.

love is touching.

love is touching.

love is when two people--two spirits-- touch each other.
when four eyes meet...
when two hearts connect...
when two minds collide...
when two hands grasp each other...
when ten fingers lock...
when two people physically connect...
when conversation warms your soul...

love is touching.

(untitled)

To be Alive
is to be Awake and to Know.
To Live
is to Fly and to See.
To dance to Life,
you must first feel the rhythm.