When something bad happens or we're going through an uncertain time, we ask ourselves lots of questions: Why did this happen? Why didn't I get the job? Why did they not want me? Why did I miss my chance? I always tend to get down on myself when I see doors closing for me. I like open doors; they make me feel good about where I'm going and what I'm doing.
However, I'm beginning to see that the questions we ask can greatly affect our perspective. When we ask good questions, we'll get good answers. Such as, what does this make possible? How can I make this better? What if this isn't the end but a new beginning? What lessons did I learn here? Instead of focusing on doors closing, I should be focusing on the doors that are opening because of that closed door.
"We only lose things, because it makes us strong." -Lupe Fiasco, 'Coming Up'
Recently the NY Times columnist David Brook's wrote an article entitled New Humanism. He talks about the new insights we have into human nature and their potential implications on politics, economics, and our own self-knowledge. He highlights three of these insights. I particularly liked the second two, and the are that:
(1) Emotions are dissenter of our thinking. They assign value and are the basis of reason. "Reading and educating your emotions is one of the central activities of wisdom." (2) "We are not individuals who form relationships. We are social animals, deeply interpenetrated with one another, who emerge out of relationships."
Instead of looking at things like IQ, degrees, professional skills, he also suggests new ways to measure human capital. This list contains:
Attunement: the ability to enter other minds and learn what they have to offer. Equipoise: the ability to serenely monitor the movements of one’s own mind and correct for biases and shortcomings. Metis: the ability to see patterns in the world and derive a gist from complex situations. Sympathy: the ability to fall into a rhythm with those around you and thrive in groups. Limerence: This isn’t a talent as much as a motivation. The conscious mind hungers for money and success, but the unconscious mind hungers for those moments of transcendence when the skull line falls away and we are lost in love for another, the challenge of a task or the love of God. Some people seem to experience this drive more powerfully than others.
In his article/speech, he lacks ways to practically use this insight, but it's all definitely something to think about. He also discusses these insights here (if you can get past the bad jokes in the beginning)...
"Only make moves when ya heart's in it." -Notorious BIG
I heard this today, and it's a sentiment that's been on my mind lately. When we want something or see something is available, we often just grab it without pause. We think it should be ours, that we deserve it. However, sometimes those things aren't meant to be ours, they're not developed and ready for us, or there's something better down the road we just can't see yet.
Our hearts speak all the time; it's our compass. The problem is that most people aren't truly listening.
love lives, ya know?
have you ever just felt it?
the love that is Alive in you?
it has a beat.
it courses through your veins.
it is Life Blood.
it swells in you.
it takes you captive,
and all you can do is give it.
it's the kind of love that is Real.
and you know your life is nothing
but the Love that beats in side of you.
because it has become your Life.
it makes you know that receiver of this Love
is the One you were born to be with.
you were created to collide with them.
it's glorious. and feels electrifying.
you can wrap yourself in this Love like a blanket.
it keeps you safe and warm.
it gives you Life.
and if Everything left tomorrow,
it would stay. because it's permanent.
nothing can break it.
in it, you lose yourSelf, but find the You.
there is a love that lives.
ya know?...
"We are shaped and fashioned by what we love."
-JWG
It's true... Even more so than I could have imagined at first. The big love that underlies all my passions and interests is my love for people. Psychology and sociology have always fascinated me-- why we do the things that we do. This love also gets translated into the relationships I have with people around me. I have a big and trusting heart.
My strengths and my weaknesses also seem to be tied up here. I'm beginning to be able to identify them better. If we lack self-awareness, those weaknesses can be damaging. My gifts are not truly gifts unless I understand them and wield them properly.
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going,
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
