Source: Unknown
Friday, December 30, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
true theology
"In a very real sense, all theology is autobiography, is it not? Our experience, real and vicarious, is what informs our sense of reality, our internal picture of the way the world works, what our values are. We believe what we know is true -- that is, our felt knowledge--not what we are told is true. In the final analysis, how can a person who wishes to live with integrity do other than this?"
-Marilyn Sewell, Unitarian Minister
-Marilyn Sewell, Unitarian Minister
Friday, December 23, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
how to temper steel
For many years, a blacksmith worked hard and performed many acts of charity; yet despite all his devotion, nothing seemed to go right in his life.
One afternoon, a friend was visiting him was concerned:
‘It really is very strange that despite your firm belief in the spiritual world, nothing in your life has improved.’
The blacksmith answered:
‘The unworked steel arrives in my workshop and I have to make swords out of it. Do you know how that is done? First, I heat the metal until it is red-hot, then I beat it mercilessly with my heaviest hammer until the metal takes on the form I need. Then I plunge it into a bucket of cold water and the whole workshop is filled with the roar of steam, while the metal sizzles and crackles in response to the sudden change in temperature. I have to keep repeating that process until the sword is perfect: once is not enough.’
The blacksmith paused for a long time, then went on:
‘Sometimes the steel I get simply can’t withstand such treatment. The heat, the hammer blows, the cold water cause it to crack. And I know that I will never be able to make it into a good sword blade. Then I throw it on the pile of scrap metal that you saw at the entrance to the workshop.’
‘I know that God is putting me through the fire of afflictions. I have accepted the blows that life deals out to me, and sometimes I feel as cold and indifferent as the water that inflicts such pain on the steel.
“But my one prayer is this: Please, God, do not give up until I have taken on the shape that You wish for me.
“Do this by whatever means You think best, for as long as You like, but never ever throw me on the scrap heap of souls.’
Written by Paulo Coelho
One afternoon, a friend was visiting him was concerned:
‘It really is very strange that despite your firm belief in the spiritual world, nothing in your life has improved.’
The blacksmith answered:
‘The unworked steel arrives in my workshop and I have to make swords out of it. Do you know how that is done? First, I heat the metal until it is red-hot, then I beat it mercilessly with my heaviest hammer until the metal takes on the form I need. Then I plunge it into a bucket of cold water and the whole workshop is filled with the roar of steam, while the metal sizzles and crackles in response to the sudden change in temperature. I have to keep repeating that process until the sword is perfect: once is not enough.’
The blacksmith paused for a long time, then went on:
‘Sometimes the steel I get simply can’t withstand such treatment. The heat, the hammer blows, the cold water cause it to crack. And I know that I will never be able to make it into a good sword blade. Then I throw it on the pile of scrap metal that you saw at the entrance to the workshop.’
‘I know that God is putting me through the fire of afflictions. I have accepted the blows that life deals out to me, and sometimes I feel as cold and indifferent as the water that inflicts such pain on the steel.
“But my one prayer is this: Please, God, do not give up until I have taken on the shape that You wish for me.
“Do this by whatever means You think best, for as long as You like, but never ever throw me on the scrap heap of souls.’
Written by Paulo Coelho
Thursday, December 1, 2011
unending love
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times…
In life after life, in age after age, forever.
My spellbound heart has made and remade the necklace of songs,
That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms,
In life after life, in age after age, forever.
Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, it’s age old pain,
It’s ancient tale of being apart or together.
As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge,
Clad in the light of a pole-star, piercing the darkness of time.
You become an image of what is remembered forever.
You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount.
At the heart of time, love of one for another.
We have played along side millions of lovers,
Shared in the same shy sweetness of meeting,
the distressful tears of farewell,
Old love but in shapes that renew and renew forever.
Today it is heaped at your feet, it has found its end in you
The love of all man’s days both past and forever:
Universal joy, universal sorrow, universal life.
The memories of all loves merging with this one love of ours -
And the songs of every poet past and forever.
-Rabindranath Tagore
Translated by William Radice
In life after life, in age after age, forever.
My spellbound heart has made and remade the necklace of songs,
That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms,
In life after life, in age after age, forever.
Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, it’s age old pain,
It’s ancient tale of being apart or together.
As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge,
Clad in the light of a pole-star, piercing the darkness of time.
You become an image of what is remembered forever.
You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount.
At the heart of time, love of one for another.
We have played along side millions of lovers,
Shared in the same shy sweetness of meeting,
the distressful tears of farewell,
Old love but in shapes that renew and renew forever.
Today it is heaped at your feet, it has found its end in you
The love of all man’s days both past and forever:
Universal joy, universal sorrow, universal life.
The memories of all loves merging with this one love of ours -
And the songs of every poet past and forever.
-Rabindranath Tagore
Translated by William Radice
Saturday, November 26, 2011
power poses
Interesting how changing body language can change your thinking and attitude. It's definitely worth trying...
Sunday, November 20, 2011
thoughts of the day
"Do not regret growing older. It's a privilege denied to many."-Unknown
"I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all."-Coco Chanel
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
life report
[David Brooks is publishing a series on his blog of autobiographical essays written by people over 70. Below are a couple excerpts from Marguerite Wolff Hessini's essay.]
"Sometimes I feel I have not lived one life, but many different ones within a 79 year lifespan so far. Having known several different historic moments in different geographic locations, within different social and political contexts, I have a sense of fragmentation, yet there is an ongoing, uninterrupted thread that characterizes my life and links it to the wider human experience."
"Now, what have I learned through all this?
Despite appearances, real choices are few in life for most,
and circumstances beyond our control may determine our options, if any.
Still, there is our inherent aptitude for adaptation, for creating new possibilities within what seem, at times, impossible situations,
and that is an incredible force we can claim for ourselves and use constructively and creatively."
Saturday, November 12, 2011
why no one likes brands
[Re-posted from www.good.is]
What if 70 percent of brands in the world disappeared overnight? Most people wouldn’t care, according to a new study of 50,000 people in 14 global markets performed by Havas Media, an international communications firm.
Of all the brands surveyed, only 20 percent made a notably positive impact on people’s lives. That means for all the millions spent on marketing and ads around the world, most people could care less which company sells them their lunch, television, or car. “The overall consumption model and the overall marketing model is not working anymore,” says Sara del Dios, the Havas executive behind the survey.
Reflecting demonstrations and disappointment in the global economy, the survey notes that most consumers don’t trust companies, think their efforts to be responsible are largely spin, and that they don’t work hard to fix big problems.
Some brands have succeeded, however, in creating a meaningful image. The top 10 list includes Ikea, Google, Danone (the French diary giant), Leroy Merlin (a global Home Depot), and Samsung. The survey’s results suggest that these brands succeed by convincing consumers that they are working to improve their lives, whether through their products or their responsible business practices.
Take Coke as an example. It’s one of the most well-known global brands, but comes in 20th on this list because only 35 percent think the soda improves their quality of life; others worry about the health concerns that come with sugary soft drinks.
According to the survey, 85 percent of consumers worldwide expect companies to be tackling major problems, whether environmental or social. That fact is reflected in another finding—53 percent of consumers surveyed said they would pay a 10 percent price premium for a product made responsibly, up from 44 percent last year.
There is a huge disparity between how brands are perceived in the developed and developing worlds. In the United States and Europe, far fewer brands are respected than in Latin America or Asia. That’s a reflection of economic reality, too: Growth is happening in the developing countries even as it slows in most established economies.
This, researchers say, is because brands and material advancement are more connected, and consumers reward companies who provide them with transportation (like cars from India’s Tata Motors) or hygiene (like Unilever’s Lifebuoy disinfectant soap). In more developed nations, where basic needs are more frequently met, consumers focus far more on the responsibility of the companies in question. And broader economic trends that have led to a poorer middle class in the developed world are also syncing up with what del Dios calls the “post-materialist society,” as consumers look to brands not just for products, but also for some sense of a richer life.
"Many of the aspirational stories that brands try to communicate are not so true, and what we want is more authenticity," del Dios says.
Whether or not corporations can provide actual meaning in people's lives was not addressed by the survey.
What if 70 percent of brands in the world disappeared overnight? Most people wouldn’t care, according to a new study of 50,000 people in 14 global markets performed by Havas Media, an international communications firm.
Of all the brands surveyed, only 20 percent made a notably positive impact on people’s lives. That means for all the millions spent on marketing and ads around the world, most people could care less which company sells them their lunch, television, or car. “The overall consumption model and the overall marketing model is not working anymore,” says Sara del Dios, the Havas executive behind the survey.
Reflecting demonstrations and disappointment in the global economy, the survey notes that most consumers don’t trust companies, think their efforts to be responsible are largely spin, and that they don’t work hard to fix big problems.
Some brands have succeeded, however, in creating a meaningful image. The top 10 list includes Ikea, Google, Danone (the French diary giant), Leroy Merlin (a global Home Depot), and Samsung. The survey’s results suggest that these brands succeed by convincing consumers that they are working to improve their lives, whether through their products or their responsible business practices.
Take Coke as an example. It’s one of the most well-known global brands, but comes in 20th on this list because only 35 percent think the soda improves their quality of life; others worry about the health concerns that come with sugary soft drinks.
According to the survey, 85 percent of consumers worldwide expect companies to be tackling major problems, whether environmental or social. That fact is reflected in another finding—53 percent of consumers surveyed said they would pay a 10 percent price premium for a product made responsibly, up from 44 percent last year.
There is a huge disparity between how brands are perceived in the developed and developing worlds. In the United States and Europe, far fewer brands are respected than in Latin America or Asia. That’s a reflection of economic reality, too: Growth is happening in the developing countries even as it slows in most established economies.
This, researchers say, is because brands and material advancement are more connected, and consumers reward companies who provide them with transportation (like cars from India’s Tata Motors) or hygiene (like Unilever’s Lifebuoy disinfectant soap). In more developed nations, where basic needs are more frequently met, consumers focus far more on the responsibility of the companies in question. And broader economic trends that have led to a poorer middle class in the developed world are also syncing up with what del Dios calls the “post-materialist society,” as consumers look to brands not just for products, but also for some sense of a richer life.
"Many of the aspirational stories that brands try to communicate are not so true, and what we want is more authenticity," del Dios says.
Whether or not corporations can provide actual meaning in people's lives was not addressed by the survey.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
empathic civilization
I never realized how truly powerful empathy is and can be.
I thought it was really interesting when he said that there wouldn't be any empathy in utopia, because we wouldn't need it with out any suffering. How would we connect with other people if there was no empathy? Utopia doesn't sound like such a warm and friendly place then. Would we be isolated in ourselves with happiness? That just seems odd. Is this why we aren't meant to find/create utopia? Something to think about...
Friday, November 4, 2011
gone
Although you have gone,
You still live in my memories.
Real enough to touch,
But as light and as fleeting as the wind.
Now that there is no You,
You have become a piece of Me.
You live in me now.
For better and for worse,
For joy and for pain.
You still live in my memories.
Real enough to touch,
But as light and as fleeting as the wind.
Now that there is no You,
You have become a piece of Me.
You live in me now.
For better and for worse,
For joy and for pain.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
power of belief
It's crazy to think how much our beliefs can change our physical health...
If we can do all that with our minds, can we also change our circumstances too? I don't think it's possible all the time, but I do think we can make our own luck.
If we can do all that with our minds, can we also change our circumstances too? I don't think it's possible all the time, but I do think we can make our own luck.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
percolating thoughts (#12)
['Percolating thoughts' is an on-going collection of quotes I have found and gained wisdom from. These are the ones that I've recently discovered and that I'm currently sitting with and reflecting on...]
"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."
-Steve Jobs
"Peace is not something you must hope for in the future. Rather, it is a deepening of the present, and unless you look for it in the present you will never find it."
-Thomas Merton
"All real living is meeting."
-Martin Buber, from I and Thou
"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."
-Steve Jobs
"Peace is not something you must hope for in the future. Rather, it is a deepening of the present, and unless you look for it in the present you will never find it."
-Thomas Merton
"All real living is meeting."
-Martin Buber, from I and Thou
Monday, October 10, 2011
trusting anyway
H and I had a conversation the other day about how as people get older and gain more life experiences, there's much more opportunity to get heart broken, be hurt, become resentful, distrustful, cynical, etc. As we get older, we become more sullied by life.
H asked me how I have been able to push past all the hurt I've experienced in my own life. Scars have been made, and I've been left wondering at times how to trust myself and others. Why not cloister myself away in a safe place? I can work to keep myself from getting hurt again.
But my answer to her was this... As humans, we are really left with no choice. We have to trust ourselves. We have to trust others. The reality is that we may get hurt again (and most likely we will, as loss and hurt come with love), but cloistering ourselves away to a safe and protected place only cuts ourself off from the world. It is a suicide of the soul. If we do not choose love and trust, what is left?
H asked me how I have been able to push past all the hurt I've experienced in my own life. Scars have been made, and I've been left wondering at times how to trust myself and others. Why not cloister myself away in a safe place? I can work to keep myself from getting hurt again.
But my answer to her was this... As humans, we are really left with no choice. We have to trust ourselves. We have to trust others. The reality is that we may get hurt again (and most likely we will, as loss and hurt come with love), but cloistering ourselves away to a safe and protected place only cuts ourself off from the world. It is a suicide of the soul. If we do not choose love and trust, what is left?
Saturday, October 8, 2011
last night
Last night I dreamt you came looking
for me. I was in a safe and hidden place.
Protected.
I tried to make a little extra noise.
Unsure if I wanted to be hidden or found,
I secretly kept hoping you'd peak inside my room.
But you kept walking by
in search of God knows what.
And I awoke to realize
you were only a shadow
of another dream I once had.
for me. I was in a safe and hidden place.
Protected.
I tried to make a little extra noise.
Unsure if I wanted to be hidden or found,
I secretly kept hoping you'd peak inside my room.
But you kept walking by
in search of God knows what.
And I awoke to realize
you were only a shadow
of another dream I once had.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
for when things get hard...
I wrote a list of things for myself to remember when I was going through a tough time last year. I came across that list yesterday and thought I'd post it here.
FOR WHEN THINGS GET HARD:
FOR WHEN THINGS GET HARD:
- There will always be challenges. How will you deal with them?
- What is going to help you move forward?
- Don't forget how far you've come.
- Today will be what you make it.
- There will always be things in your current situation that you may never find again. Take advantage!
- Embrace your personal growth.
- Look for God... in all things.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
the beloved man
A Siberian shaman asked God to show him a man that He loved. The Lord advised him to look for a certain farmer.
“What do you do to make the Lord love you so much?” the shaman asked the farmer when he found him.
“I say His name in the morning. I work all day and say His name before going to sleep. That’s all,” the farmer replied. I think I found the wrong man, thought the shaman.
Just then the Lord appeared and said, “Fill a bowl with milk, go to town and then return. Without spilling a single drop.”
The shaman did so. On his return, the Lord wanted to know how many times he had thought of Him.
“How could I? I was worried not to spill the milk!”
“A simple bowl made you forget Me,” said the Lord, “and the farmer, with all his tasks, thinks of me twice a day.”
[Originally found here]
“What do you do to make the Lord love you so much?” the shaman asked the farmer when he found him.
“I say His name in the morning. I work all day and say His name before going to sleep. That’s all,” the farmer replied. I think I found the wrong man, thought the shaman.
Just then the Lord appeared and said, “Fill a bowl with milk, go to town and then return. Without spilling a single drop.”
The shaman did so. On his return, the Lord wanted to know how many times he had thought of Him.
“How could I? I was worried not to spill the milk!”
“A simple bowl made you forget Me,” said the Lord, “and the farmer, with all his tasks, thinks of me twice a day.”
[Originally found here]
Thursday, September 29, 2011
education in America
Interesting video analyzing the education paradigm in America. Just thought I'd share :)
Friday, September 23, 2011
human superheroes
Everyone has the potential to do great things. More than the saints and superheroes can apply for such work. After all, we are all human. And we are all capable. We just need to believe we have something worth giving.
This gave me hope.
"Beyond that, it seems self-defeating to want our heroes to be perfect, because we aren't perfect ourselves. As Sides says, 'By calling our heroes superhuman we also let ourselves off the hook: Why do the hard work of bettering the world if that’s something only saints do?'"
This gave me hope.
"Beyond that, it seems self-defeating to want our heroes to be perfect, because we aren't perfect ourselves. As Sides says, 'By calling our heroes superhuman we also let ourselves off the hook: Why do the hard work of bettering the world if that’s something only saints do?'"
Saturday, September 17, 2011
marketing
I recently got a new job in marketing, so I've been thinking more about what exactly it is. Marketing has changed quite a bit in the past few years. It's more about building relationships and taking part in a conversation. Marketing is so critical to many of the things we do and participate in. I read this blog post earlier in the week by Michael Hyatt. He gives a quick overview of marketing in today's world. Worth reading :)
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
currently
sometimes I wonder if it was all a dream.
but the photographs don't lie,
and the small stream of Arabic that flows
beneath the surface tell me otherwise.
where is the heart of me?
i am not a Muslim,
but when i Feel the Quran,
God grabs my soul
and leaves me breathless.
presence. fullness. peace?
alive, at least.
centered.
Hmdulillah.
but the photographs don't lie,
and the small stream of Arabic that flows
beneath the surface tell me otherwise.
where is the heart of me?
i am not a Muslim,
but when i Feel the Quran,
God grabs my soul
and leaves me breathless.
presence. fullness. peace?
alive, at least.
centered.
Hmdulillah.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
maroc reflections
In Morocco, I touched some of the depths of my soul and discovered so much of my heart and my being. Even after months of being back, I struggle to again reach those depths. I wrote in Morocco about how both the first and third world have a superficiality to them. However, they are two very different types of superficiality. I find myself drowning in a world full of materialism and tunnel vision. The world is small here, and most people keep the doors of their soul closed even to themselves. Work is no longer just something I do, it's what defines my life, fills my day, eats my thoughts, and steals my attention.
I hunger for a world filled with moments of still silence. It's as if I've forgotten; silence can give me emptiness if I don't remind myself.
For two years, I dug to my depths and sought peace. Yet in this new place, I must perform this work again in order to find myself in this new context. I have to adjust to find a new balance after this change in scale, measure, and weight.
Perhaps this is our life work--to find ourselves again and again as our scenery changes thus forcing a change to our inner selves. If I can find the space, will you help me find myself?
I hunger for a world filled with moments of still silence. It's as if I've forgotten; silence can give me emptiness if I don't remind myself.
For two years, I dug to my depths and sought peace. Yet in this new place, I must perform this work again in order to find myself in this new context. I have to adjust to find a new balance after this change in scale, measure, and weight.
Perhaps this is our life work--to find ourselves again and again as our scenery changes thus forcing a change to our inner selves. If I can find the space, will you help me find myself?
Sunday, August 21, 2011
certainty and doubt
Buddha was gathered together with his disciples one morning, when a man came up to him.
‘Does God exist?’ he asked.
‘He does,’ replied Buddha.
After lunch, another man came up to him.
‘Does God exist?’ he asked.
‘No, he doesn’t,’ said Buddha.
Later that afternoon, a third man asked the same question: ‘Does God exist?’
‘That’s for you to decide,’ replied Buddha.
As soon as the man had gone, one of his disciples remarked angrily:
‘But that’s absurd, Master! How can you possibly give such different answers to the same question?’
‘Because they are all different people, and each one of them will reach God by his own path. The first man will believe what I say. The second will do everything he can to prove me wrong. The third will only believe in what he is allowed to choose for himself.’
[Originally found here]
‘Does God exist?’ he asked.
‘He does,’ replied Buddha.
After lunch, another man came up to him.
‘Does God exist?’ he asked.
‘No, he doesn’t,’ said Buddha.
Later that afternoon, a third man asked the same question: ‘Does God exist?’
‘That’s for you to decide,’ replied Buddha.
As soon as the man had gone, one of his disciples remarked angrily:
‘But that’s absurd, Master! How can you possibly give such different answers to the same question?’
‘Because they are all different people, and each one of them will reach God by his own path. The first man will believe what I say. The second will do everything he can to prove me wrong. The third will only believe in what he is allowed to choose for himself.’
[Originally found here]
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
as we are
"We see others not as they are, but as we are."
How we think of and treat ourselves directly affects how we think of and treat others. Our perception of the world begins with who we are. Most of the time we don't even realize or are aware of our own biases, personality quirks, fears, dreams, etc.
I used to think that to change the world, people would have to care about others more than themselves. But I think some people are hard wired to be more compassionate and selfless. That is not something that's easy for everyone to do. The real issue is that we don't truly know, understand, or love ourselves.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
percolating thoughts (#11)
['Percolating thoughts' is an on-going collection of quotes I have found and gained wisdom from. These are the ones that I've recently discovered and that I'm currently sitting with and reflecting on...]
“There is nothing noble in being superior to some other others. True nobility comes from being superior to your previous self.”
- Hindu saying
"Peace is not something you must hope for in the future. Rather, it is a deepening of the present, and unless you look for it in the present you will never find it."
-Thomas Merton
"All real living is meeting."
-Martin Buber, from I and Thou
"Enjoy the love of others, but revel in the love of yourself. Don't wait for someone else to save you."
-Aisha Tyler
“There is nothing noble in being superior to some other others. True nobility comes from being superior to your previous self.”
- Hindu saying
"Peace is not something you must hope for in the future. Rather, it is a deepening of the present, and unless you look for it in the present you will never find it."
-Thomas Merton
"All real living is meeting."
-Martin Buber, from I and Thou
"Enjoy the love of others, but revel in the love of yourself. Don't wait for someone else to save you."
-Aisha Tyler
Friday, July 29, 2011
fears and dreams
I watched this video this morning. Some pieces are a little cliche, but I thought that the idea of fears and dreams being the center of who we are is very true.
My greatest fears and my greatest dreams define who I am. Sometimes I'm not even consciously aware of all of my fears and dreams. Yet I make the bulk of my daily decisions and major life-changing choices around them. I also think I have the ability to change and manipulate my fears and dreams if I have the courage to.
My greatest fears and my greatest dreams define who I am. Sometimes I'm not even consciously aware of all of my fears and dreams. Yet I make the bulk of my daily decisions and major life-changing choices around them. I also think I have the ability to change and manipulate my fears and dreams if I have the courage to.
Monday, July 25, 2011
woman
Woman.
Alive and Moving.
Growing and flourishing.
Pregnant with Life
and Love.
Awake and
Free.
Alive and Moving.
Growing and flourishing.
Pregnant with Life
and Love.
Awake and
Free.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
the muddy road
Tanzan and Ekido were once travelling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling. Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.
“Come on, girl,” said Tanzan at once.
Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.
Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself.
“We monks can’t be near females,” he told Tanzan, “especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?”
“I left the girl there,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”
[Originally found here]
“Come on, girl,” said Tanzan at once.
Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.
Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself.
“We monks can’t be near females,” he told Tanzan, “especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?”
“I left the girl there,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”
[Originally found here]
Monday, July 4, 2011
finding good friends
intimacy.
closeness.
love.
friendship.
we all crave it and long for it... To be loved-- that is what is.
B and i talked about friendship one night. people desire closeness, but the truth of it is that we will only have a few friendships that will last a lifetime- only a handful of intimate friendships. when B said that, i thought that that was one of the saddest things i'd heard in a while. i couldn't help but think, "i only get a few? a FEW is all i can hope for?" she said what it really comes down to is convenience- whoever's around. it's so true.
no wonder people don't feel as though their lives are fulfilled unless they get married.
closeness.
love.
friendship.
we all crave it and long for it... To be loved-- that is what is.
B and i talked about friendship one night. people desire closeness, but the truth of it is that we will only have a few friendships that will last a lifetime- only a handful of intimate friendships. when B said that, i thought that that was one of the saddest things i'd heard in a while. i couldn't help but think, "i only get a few? a FEW is all i can hope for?" she said what it really comes down to is convenience- whoever's around. it's so true.
no wonder people don't feel as though their lives are fulfilled unless they get married.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
moment of truth
It's universal, you play with fire it may hurt you
or burn you, lessons are blessings you should learn through
Let's face facts, although MC's lace tracks
it doesn't mean behind the scenes there ain't no dirt to trace back
That goes for all of us, there ain't nobody to trust
It's like sabotage, it's got me ready to bust...
But just as you'll receive what is comin' to you
Everybody else is gonna get theirs too
I ain't no saint, therefore I cannot dispute
That everyone must meet their moment of truth
Actions have reactions, don't be quick to judge
You may not know the hardships people don't speak of
It's best to step back, and observe with couth
For we all must meet our moment of truth
-Gangstarr, Moment of Truth
or burn you, lessons are blessings you should learn through
Let's face facts, although MC's lace tracks
it doesn't mean behind the scenes there ain't no dirt to trace back
That goes for all of us, there ain't nobody to trust
It's like sabotage, it's got me ready to bust...
But just as you'll receive what is comin' to you
Everybody else is gonna get theirs too
I ain't no saint, therefore I cannot dispute
That everyone must meet their moment of truth
Actions have reactions, don't be quick to judge
You may not know the hardships people don't speak of
It's best to step back, and observe with couth
For we all must meet our moment of truth
-Gangstarr, Moment of Truth
Sunday, June 26, 2011
percolating thoughts (#10)
['Percolating thoughts' is an on-going collection of quotes I have found and gained wisdom from. These are the ones that I've recently discovered and that I'm currently sitting with and reflecting on...]
"Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning."
-paraphrased idea of Viktor Frankl
"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."
-Viktor Frankl
"No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn."
-Hal Borland
"If you hate injustice, tyranny, lust and greed, hate these things in yourself."
-Mahatma Ghandi
“The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake.”
-Meister Eckhart
"Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning."
-paraphrased idea of Viktor Frankl
"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."
-Viktor Frankl
"No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn."
-Hal Borland
"If you hate injustice, tyranny, lust and greed, hate these things in yourself."
-Mahatma Ghandi
“The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake.”
-Meister Eckhart
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
worth
amy said,
"we care what people think of us, even as children we do."
yeah, i thought. we do.
we were built that way.
to have someone tell us who we are.
what if i lose that?
or rather, if i change
does my worth change?
i was never like this before, ya know.
splotches.
stains.
yuck.
i'm doing my best to let you wash me.
zeal and passion misplaced.
Time thrown away.
i'm ready for you to come and find me.
i'll be right here waiting.
to be found.
"we care what people think of us, even as children we do."
yeah, i thought. we do.
we were built that way.
to have someone tell us who we are.
what if i lose that?
or rather, if i change
does my worth change?
i was never like this before, ya know.
splotches.
stains.
yuck.
i'm doing my best to let you wash me.
zeal and passion misplaced.
Time thrown away.
i'm ready for you to come and find me.
i'll be right here waiting.
to be found.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
change blindness
In any given setting, we choose what's important to remember about our surroundings. When details we don't think are important change, we often don't notice. Up to 75% of the time, people don't notice a change to something the believe is unimportant. I'm a fairly observant person, but it makes me wonder what things have changed in my everyday life while I've been unaware.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
to love a person, place
This is from Kathleen Dean Moore's book The Pine Island Paradox.
In one chapter she reflects on these questions, What does it mean to love a person? What does it mean to love a place? And she answers the questions thus: "it means at least this: 1. to want to be near it, physically. 2. to want to know everything about it - its story, its mood, what it looks like by moonlight. 3. to rejoice in the fact of it. 4. to fear its loss, and grieve for its injuries. 5. to protect it - fiercely, mindlessly, futilely, and maybe even tragically, but to be helpless to do otherwise. 6. to be transformed in its presence - lifted, lighter on your feet, transparent, open to everything beautiful and new. 7. to want to be joined with it, taken in by it, lost in it. 8. to want the best for it. 9. desperately, and 10. to take responsibility for its well-being."
Monday, June 6, 2011
Dunbar's number
I recently listened to an NPR piece on Dunbar's number. Essentially Dunbar's number is the number 150, and it represents the number of stable social relationships we can maintain. For example, when companies have over 150 employees, employees no longer know everyone and can remember them by name. This is also the number at which smaller hunter-gatherer societies max out, and so on.
When we live and/or work in communities larger than 150 people, there are social consequences. Listen to the 5 minute NPR piece. Very interesting!
When we live and/or work in communities larger than 150 people, there are social consequences. Listen to the 5 minute NPR piece. Very interesting!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
home
After living in Morocco for two years, I'm finding that I wouldn't be happy staying here forever and I'm not happy to be leaving either. There are things I love about the culture, but also things I don't like. I feel the same way about American culture too though. I'm beginning to think being anywhere is a trade off.
There isn't really one place, one country, or one culture that feels like home. Perhaps that's part of the human condition. Or I haven't looked long enough. I've found that each place, country, and culture has strengths and weaknesses. I think it's supposed to be that way. It keeps us wanting more and keeps us striving for utopia.
I believe that Home isn't a place, person, or group of people you find. You have to make Home wherever you feel that it should be. I'm coming to find that my Home is scattered all across the globe. There's one physical location that feels like home to me, but really my Home is with a small group of individuals that let me put my bags down and find rest in them. It's where I find peace and strength. With them I most feel like Me.
There isn't really one place, one country, or one culture that feels like home. Perhaps that's part of the human condition. Or I haven't looked long enough. I've found that each place, country, and culture has strengths and weaknesses. I think it's supposed to be that way. It keeps us wanting more and keeps us striving for utopia.
I believe that Home isn't a place, person, or group of people you find. You have to make Home wherever you feel that it should be. I'm coming to find that my Home is scattered all across the globe. There's one physical location that feels like home to me, but really my Home is with a small group of individuals that let me put my bags down and find rest in them. It's where I find peace and strength. With them I most feel like Me.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
passion: let me not beg for the stilling of my pain
“Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
but for the heart to conquer it.
Let me not look for allies in life’s battlefield,
but to my own strength.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved,
but hope for the patience to win my freedom.
Grant that I may not be a coward,
feeling Your mercy in my success alone;
But let me find the grasp of Your hand in my failure.”
by Rabindranath Tagore
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
but for the heart to conquer it.
Let me not look for allies in life’s battlefield,
but to my own strength.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved,
but hope for the patience to win my freedom.
Grant that I may not be a coward,
feeling Your mercy in my success alone;
But let me find the grasp of Your hand in my failure.”
by Rabindranath Tagore
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
percolating thoughts (#9)
['Percolating thoughts' is an on-going collection of quotes I have found and gained wisdom from. These are the ones that I've recently discovered and that I'm currently sitting with and reflecting on...]
"A person often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it."
-Jean de La Fontaine
“Prayer might not change things, but it will change my perspective of things. Prayer might not change the past, but inevitably, it changes the present.”
-Margaret Feinberg
"Suffering in and of itself is meaningless; we give our suffering meaning by the way in which we respond to it."
-Harold S. Kushner
"Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation. You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you."
-Harold S. Kushner summarizing Viktor Frankl's insight
"A person often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it."
-Jean de La Fontaine
“Prayer might not change things, but it will change my perspective of things. Prayer might not change the past, but inevitably, it changes the present.”
-Margaret Feinberg
"Suffering in and of itself is meaningless; we give our suffering meaning by the way in which we respond to it."
-Harold S. Kushner
"Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation. You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you."
-Harold S. Kushner summarizing Viktor Frankl's insight
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
actions can change your thinking
I recently read about a study that said changing your behavior can lead to changes in your mindset. "Changes in behavior create changes in mindset. If you act powerfully, you will begin to think powerfully. Cuddy theorizes that some people are a bit more assertive then others, naturally, but by behaving in assertive ways and adopted assertive poses, they magnify their advantages."
But if you act more powerfully, it's because you want to be more powerful and want others to perceive you as more powerful. So I guess we should start acting like the people we want to be, and then we will become that person. It seems simple enough.
I think our personalities are more malleable than we think they are.
But if you act more powerfully, it's because you want to be more powerful and want others to perceive you as more powerful. So I guess we should start acting like the people we want to be, and then we will become that person. It seems simple enough.
I think our personalities are more malleable than we think they are.
Friday, April 29, 2011
being thankful
This morning I was watching a TV program with a friend. The show took place in Saudi Arabia. A camera crew placed a hidden camera inside a drive-through coffee stand. They monitored whether not not people said 'thank you' to the salesperson after they got their coffee. Then they would stop the car after it drove through to ask the person why they did or didn't say thank you.
As the show was in Arabic, I didn't catch all that was said. However, those that didn't say thank you seemed to say that it was because of peoples' different personalities on why or not they said thank you (I don't know if I'd agree with that argument).
The point of the show was to call attention to a Quran verse that reads, "He who does not thank people, does not thank Allah." I thought that was probably pretty true... If you can't thank people, how can you thank God?
As the show was in Arabic, I didn't catch all that was said. However, those that didn't say thank you seemed to say that it was because of peoples' different personalities on why or not they said thank you (I don't know if I'd agree with that argument).
The point of the show was to call attention to a Quran verse that reads, "He who does not thank people, does not thank Allah." I thought that was probably pretty true... If you can't thank people, how can you thank God?
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
wanting power
In a follow up to my last post, I've also been thinking a bit about power. Here are my thoughts so far...
What is power? I think power is essentially influence. It's when you're able to influence others' and your own thoughts, actions, and feelings. It's so easily corruptible though. Power can change the way you see yourself. It helps you get lost in you. It can feed your sense of self-worth in different ways.
When drugged with power, people will do anything. Like that famous prison study where participants were split in half-- half were to pretend to be prisoners and the other half would be prison guards. The guards began to take their role way too seriously, and the study was eventually stopped early. The guards' self-identity began to change and they didn't see how cruel they were becoming to the prisoners, they were just doing their "job." Who we are can change drastically with power. It can be frightening.
But why do we crave power so much? I've had a harder time coming up with an answer for that one. Is it just a drug-- one taste and you crave more? I feel like there should be more to it than that. Thoughts??
What is power? I think power is essentially influence. It's when you're able to influence others' and your own thoughts, actions, and feelings. It's so easily corruptible though. Power can change the way you see yourself. It helps you get lost in you. It can feed your sense of self-worth in different ways.
When drugged with power, people will do anything. Like that famous prison study where participants were split in half-- half were to pretend to be prisoners and the other half would be prison guards. The guards began to take their role way too seriously, and the study was eventually stopped early. The guards' self-identity began to change and they didn't see how cruel they were becoming to the prisoners, they were just doing their "job." Who we are can change drastically with power. It can be frightening.
But why do we crave power so much? I've had a harder time coming up with an answer for that one. Is it just a drug-- one taste and you crave more? I feel like there should be more to it than that. Thoughts??
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
wanting control
Lately I've been reading The Fate of Africa, by Martin Meredith. In the book he discusses the independence of African countries from colonial power and the subsequent troubles they have faced. It's no secret that Africa has had a lot of corrupt rulers. But this has got me thinking about control and power...
Westerners seem to think they can control much more than they really can. Less developed areas that are more dependent on agriculture, the weather, the seasons, are more susceptible to disease, etc. realize more their lack of ability to control things.
Control is largely an illusion. I can control what clothes I put on, but I can't control the weather, the possibility of getting into a car accident, or whether or not I'll die tomorrow. But I'm really curious about the why. Why do humans, particularly those from the developed world, lust after control as much as they do? My best guess is it our way of coping with a world where we truly have no control. It's scary to be out of control. We like having things to depend on.
Any one else have an idea?
Westerners seem to think they can control much more than they really can. Less developed areas that are more dependent on agriculture, the weather, the seasons, are more susceptible to disease, etc. realize more their lack of ability to control things.
Control is largely an illusion. I can control what clothes I put on, but I can't control the weather, the possibility of getting into a car accident, or whether or not I'll die tomorrow. But I'm really curious about the why. Why do humans, particularly those from the developed world, lust after control as much as they do? My best guess is it our way of coping with a world where we truly have no control. It's scary to be out of control. We like having things to depend on.
Any one else have an idea?
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
giving up on changing the world
I hate it when people give up their dreams of "changing the world" because they think that they're too old or they believe that if they can do something significant it will have to be through their children. That's never true. There's always time to change the world. It's never too late to do anything.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
percolating thoughts (#8)
['Percolating thoughts' is an on-going collection of quotes I have found and gained wisdom from. These are the ones that I've recently discovered and that I'm currently sitting with and reflecting on...]
"What you draw to you is what you are."
-Iyanla Vanzant
"At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want."
-Lao Tzu
"True battles are fought in the heart."
-Ghandi
"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."
-African Proverb
"What you draw to you is what you are."
-Iyanla Vanzant
"At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want."
-Lao Tzu
"True battles are fought in the heart."
-Ghandi
"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."
-African Proverb
Saturday, April 2, 2011
knowing yourself
I heard of a girl once who was so scared of sitting with herself that she said she didn't even like to think. A lot of people are like that. We don't like to sit in silence, so we bring our ipod or phone. We do our best to avoid having nothing to do. When boredom hits, we put on the TV or do anything that will take us away from ourselves. It's almost as if we're scared to sit with ourselves.
I believe knowing yourself is the bravest thing of all.
A friend recently sent me this poem:
I believe knowing yourself is the bravest thing of all.
A friend recently sent me this poem:
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
a piece of wisdom
I forgot who said this to me, but this is a piece of wisdom I have always carried with me:
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Saturday, March 26, 2011
the questions we ask
When something bad happens or we're going through an uncertain time, we ask ourselves lots of questions: Why did this happen? Why didn't I get the job? Why did they not want me? Why did I miss my chance? I always tend to get down on myself when I see doors closing for me. I like open doors; they make me feel good about where I'm going and what I'm doing.
However, I'm beginning to see that the questions we ask can greatly affect our perspective. When we ask good questions, we'll get good answers. Such as, what does this make possible? How can I make this better? What if this isn't the end but a new beginning? What lessons did I learn here? Instead of focusing on doors closing, I should be focusing on the doors that are opening because of that closed door.
"We only lose things, because it makes us strong."
-Lupe Fiasco, 'Coming Up'
However, I'm beginning to see that the questions we ask can greatly affect our perspective. When we ask good questions, we'll get good answers. Such as, what does this make possible? How can I make this better? What if this isn't the end but a new beginning? What lessons did I learn here? Instead of focusing on doors closing, I should be focusing on the doors that are opening because of that closed door.
"We only lose things, because it makes us strong."
-Lupe Fiasco, 'Coming Up'
Monday, March 21, 2011
new humanism
Recently the NY Times columnist David Brook's wrote an article entitled New Humanism. He talks about the new insights we have into human nature and their potential implications on politics, economics, and our own self-knowledge. He highlights three of these insights. I particularly liked the second two, and the are that:
(1) Emotions are dissenter of our thinking. They assign value and are the basis of reason. "Reading and educating your emotions is one of the central activities of wisdom." (2) "We are not individuals who form relationships. We are social animals, deeply interpenetrated with one another, who emerge out of relationships."
Instead of looking at things like IQ, degrees, professional skills, he also suggests new ways to measure human capital. This list contains:
Attunement: the ability to enter other minds and learn what they have to offer.
Equipoise: the ability to serenely monitor the movements of one’s own mind and correct for biases and shortcomings.
Metis: the ability to see patterns in the world and derive a gist from complex situations.
Sympathy: the ability to fall into a rhythm with those around you and thrive in groups.
Limerence: This isn’t a talent as much as a motivation. The conscious mind hungers for money and success, but the unconscious mind hungers for those moments of transcendence when the skull line falls away and we are lost in love for another, the challenge of a task or the love of God. Some people seem to experience this drive more powerfully than others.
In his article/speech, he lacks ways to practically use this insight, but it's all definitely something to think about. He also discusses these insights here (if you can get past the bad jokes in the beginning)...
(1) Emotions are dissenter of our thinking. They assign value and are the basis of reason. "Reading and educating your emotions is one of the central activities of wisdom." (2) "We are not individuals who form relationships. We are social animals, deeply interpenetrated with one another, who emerge out of relationships."
Instead of looking at things like IQ, degrees, professional skills, he also suggests new ways to measure human capital. This list contains:
Attunement: the ability to enter other minds and learn what they have to offer.
Equipoise: the ability to serenely monitor the movements of one’s own mind and correct for biases and shortcomings.
Metis: the ability to see patterns in the world and derive a gist from complex situations.
Sympathy: the ability to fall into a rhythm with those around you and thrive in groups.
Limerence: This isn’t a talent as much as a motivation. The conscious mind hungers for money and success, but the unconscious mind hungers for those moments of transcendence when the skull line falls away and we are lost in love for another, the challenge of a task or the love of God. Some people seem to experience this drive more powerfully than others.
In his article/speech, he lacks ways to practically use this insight, but it's all definitely something to think about. He also discusses these insights here (if you can get past the bad jokes in the beginning)...
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
are you listening?
"Only make moves when ya heart's in it."
-Notorious BIG
I heard this today, and it's a sentiment that's been on my mind lately. When we want something or see something is available, we often just grab it without pause. We think it should be ours, that we deserve it. However, sometimes those things aren't meant to be ours, they're not developed and ready for us, or there's something better down the road we just can't see yet.
Our hearts speak all the time; it's our compass. The problem is that most people aren't truly listening.
-Notorious BIG
I heard this today, and it's a sentiment that's been on my mind lately. When we want something or see something is available, we often just grab it without pause. We think it should be ours, that we deserve it. However, sometimes those things aren't meant to be ours, they're not developed and ready for us, or there's something better down the road we just can't see yet.
Our hearts speak all the time; it's our compass. The problem is that most people aren't truly listening.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
love lives.
love lives, ya know?
have you ever just felt it?
the love that is Alive in you?
it has a beat.
it courses through your veins.
it is Life Blood.
it swells in you.
it takes you captive,
and all you can do is give it.
it's the kind of love that is Real.
and you know your life is nothing
but the Love that beats in side of you.
because it has become your Life.
it makes you know that receiver of this Love
is the One you were born to be with.
you were created to collide with them.
it's glorious. and feels electrifying.
you can wrap yourself in this Love like a blanket.
it keeps you safe and warm.
it gives you Life.
and if Everything left tomorrow,
it would stay. because it's permanent.
nothing can break it.
in it, you lose yourSelf, but find the You.
there is a love that lives.
ya know?...
have you ever just felt it?
the love that is Alive in you?
it has a beat.
it courses through your veins.
it is Life Blood.
it swells in you.
it takes you captive,
and all you can do is give it.
it's the kind of love that is Real.
and you know your life is nothing
but the Love that beats in side of you.
because it has become your Life.
it makes you know that receiver of this Love
is the One you were born to be with.
you were created to collide with them.
it's glorious. and feels electrifying.
you can wrap yourself in this Love like a blanket.
it keeps you safe and warm.
it gives you Life.
and if Everything left tomorrow,
it would stay. because it's permanent.
nothing can break it.
in it, you lose yourSelf, but find the You.
there is a love that lives.
ya know?...
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
what we love
"We are shaped and fashioned by what we love."
-JWG
It's true... Even more so than I could have imagined at first. The big love that underlies all my passions and interests is my love for people. Psychology and sociology have always fascinated me-- why we do the things that we do. This love also gets translated into the relationships I have with people around me. I have a big and trusting heart.
My strengths and my weaknesses also seem to be tied up here. I'm beginning to be able to identify them better. If we lack self-awareness, those weaknesses can be damaging. My gifts are not truly gifts unless I understand them and wield them properly.
-JWG
It's true... Even more so than I could have imagined at first. The big love that underlies all my passions and interests is my love for people. Psychology and sociology have always fascinated me-- why we do the things that we do. This love also gets translated into the relationships I have with people around me. I have a big and trusting heart.
My strengths and my weaknesses also seem to be tied up here. I'm beginning to be able to identify them better. If we lack self-awareness, those weaknesses can be damaging. My gifts are not truly gifts unless I understand them and wield them properly.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
in thoughts in solitude
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going,
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
by Thomas Merton
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
by Thomas Merton
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
self-control
I was recently listening to an a short piece on NPR that discussed self-control. According to social scientists, there are three things that largely affect and define a child's success in life: IQ, the family's socio-economic status, and self-control. Self-control is the only one of those three that is relatively easy to change. The reporter talked about how kids with less self-control were more likely to be substance abusers, have financial issues, have a criminal record, have more health problems, etc. When you think about it, that all sounds pretty logical.
I never realized before how much self-control can affect our lives. This made me think about self-control in my own life... In what areas do I lack self-control? How are these things affecting my overall success and happiness in life? It's something worth pondering...
I never realized before how much self-control can affect our lives. This made me think about self-control in my own life... In what areas do I lack self-control? How are these things affecting my overall success and happiness in life? It's something worth pondering...
Saturday, February 19, 2011
gendered reactions to nudity
Both men and women…knew exactly how to respond to female nudes: women had internalized their object status and men had internalized their subject status.
Interestingly, both men and women felt uncomfortable looking at male nudes.
Men responded by either expressing extreme disinterest, re-asserting their heterosexuality, or both. They did not compare themselves to the male nudes (like women did with female nudes), except to say that they were both male and, therefore, there was “nothing to see.” Meanwhile, because men have been trained to be a lustful sexual subject, seeing male nudity tended to raise the specter of homosexuality. They couldn’t see the bodies as anything but sexual objects for them to gaze upon.
In contrast, the specter of homosexuality didn’t arise for women because they weren’t used to being positioned as lustful. Eck explains:
“When women view the seductive pose of the female nude, they do not believe she is ‘coming on to’ them. They know she is there to arouse men. Thus, they do not have to work at rejecting an unwanted advance. It is not for them.”
From Gendered Reactions to Male and Female Nudity
Interestingly, both men and women felt uncomfortable looking at male nudes.
Men responded by either expressing extreme disinterest, re-asserting their heterosexuality, or both. They did not compare themselves to the male nudes (like women did with female nudes), except to say that they were both male and, therefore, there was “nothing to see.” Meanwhile, because men have been trained to be a lustful sexual subject, seeing male nudity tended to raise the specter of homosexuality. They couldn’t see the bodies as anything but sexual objects for them to gaze upon.
In contrast, the specter of homosexuality didn’t arise for women because they weren’t used to being positioned as lustful. Eck explains:
“When women view the seductive pose of the female nude, they do not believe she is ‘coming on to’ them. They know she is there to arouse men. Thus, they do not have to work at rejecting an unwanted advance. It is not for them.”
From Gendered Reactions to Male and Female Nudity
Monday, February 14, 2011
'I wish you enough'
Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the Father said, ‘I love you, and I wish you enough.’ They kissed and the daughter left. The father walked over to the window where I was seated. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but I could not refrain from asking: ‘When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?’
He began to smile. ‘That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.’ He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. ‘When we said, ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.’ Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory:
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more..
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting…
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye.
He began to smile. ‘That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.’ He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. ‘When we said, ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.’ Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory:
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more..
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting…
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
percolating thoughts (#7)
['Percolating thoughts' is an on-going collection of quotes I have found and gained wisdom from. These are the ones that I've recently discovered and that I'm currently sitting with and reflecting on...]
“Compassion for the other comes out of our ability to accept ourselves. Until we realize both our own weaknesses and our own privileges, we can never tolerate lack of status and depth of weakness in the other.”
-Joan Chittister
"Accustom yourself continually to make many acts of love, for they enkindle and melt the soul."
-Mother Teresa
"Your attitude about who you are and what you have is a very little thing that makes a very big difference."
-Theodore Roosevelt
“The great aim of every human being is to understand the meaning of total love. Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.”
-Pauolo Coelho, Eleven Minutes
“Compassion for the other comes out of our ability to accept ourselves. Until we realize both our own weaknesses and our own privileges, we can never tolerate lack of status and depth of weakness in the other.”
-Joan Chittister
"Accustom yourself continually to make many acts of love, for they enkindle and melt the soul."
-Mother Teresa
"Your attitude about who you are and what you have is a very little thing that makes a very big difference."
-Theodore Roosevelt
“The great aim of every human being is to understand the meaning of total love. Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.”
-Pauolo Coelho, Eleven Minutes
Saturday, February 5, 2011
defining danger
Lately I've been thinking about how different societies define danger and assess risk. While living in Morocco, I've seen parents give much more freedom to their children than I've seen in the US. I've seen kids running with sticks, playing with knives, walking around on their own, holding small things they could potentially choke on, etc. It's not that Moroccan parents don't see that these objects are potential dangers, it's simply that they think the likelihood of something bad happening with the object is minimal.
American parents smother their children with protectiveness, and with good reason. I think there are many more potential dangers in America than in Morocco. For instance, American homes have many more dangers (more small items, more glass objects, low electrical outlets...), people live in larger communities/neighborhoods where they don't know all their neighbors, American media hypes up dangers and cases of tragedy, and you get the idea. If you look back through American history, we perceived less dangers. People could hitch hike, kids could walk somewhere alone, and kids could play unsupervised. I read recently that statistically there hasn't been a rise in danger over the past few decades as you think would be the case. There's just a difference in perception.
How does our perception of danger and risk affect our society? This is a big question that can't entirely be answered here, but I believe there are some bad consequences. For one thing, American children aren't being as independent or gaining some of the experiences that older generations had. Also, a lot of stress is put on parents to keep their kids safe and supervised all the time. But perhaps more importantly we should ask: What can we do to change this perception?
American parents smother their children with protectiveness, and with good reason. I think there are many more potential dangers in America than in Morocco. For instance, American homes have many more dangers (more small items, more glass objects, low electrical outlets...), people live in larger communities/neighborhoods where they don't know all their neighbors, American media hypes up dangers and cases of tragedy, and you get the idea. If you look back through American history, we perceived less dangers. People could hitch hike, kids could walk somewhere alone, and kids could play unsupervised. I read recently that statistically there hasn't been a rise in danger over the past few decades as you think would be the case. There's just a difference in perception.
How does our perception of danger and risk affect our society? This is a big question that can't entirely be answered here, but I believe there are some bad consequences. For one thing, American children aren't being as independent or gaining some of the experiences that older generations had. Also, a lot of stress is put on parents to keep their kids safe and supervised all the time. But perhaps more importantly we should ask: What can we do to change this perception?
Saturday, January 29, 2011
what is poverty?
When most people hear the word 'poverty,' they think of no money, little food, wretched living conditions, dirty old clothes, disease, lots of flies and other bugs, and on and on. However, many of the people that populate third world countries and are materially impoverished are some of the most joy-filled people you'll ever meet. A lot of times they are happier than people with many material possessions. So can material possessions define poverty alone?
A friend recently wrote a blog post discussing the same topic, because she heard the quote: "Poverty is the result of hopelessness." If you have only a few material possessions but have hope and joy for each day, then I believe you are not truly poor. There is poverty of the soul and poverty of possessions. Sometimes we forget that poverty of the soul exists. It would be good for us to remember and ask ourselves what it is we can do to fight poverty of all kinds.
A friend recently wrote a blog post discussing the same topic, because she heard the quote: "Poverty is the result of hopelessness." If you have only a few material possessions but have hope and joy for each day, then I believe you are not truly poor. There is poverty of the soul and poverty of possessions. Sometimes we forget that poverty of the soul exists. It would be good for us to remember and ask ourselves what it is we can do to fight poverty of all kinds.
"There is more hunger in this world for love than there is for bread." -Mother Teresa
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
social media today
[Disclaimer: In this post I'm not trying to argue the pros and cons of using social networking websites, but rather take a look at how our society uses these tools. These thoughts are only meant to stir discussion, not say either is right or wrong anything.]
I recently heard someone say, "social media is to relationships what fast food is to nutrition — a quick way to feel like we’ve gotten what we need. But when compared with what we really need, what we get is insubstantial." I see some truth in that statement. Nonetheless, there is no doubt that social networking websites can help us to keep in touch with far away friends, reconnect with long lost ones, and meet new people. However, how aware are we of how social media websites and our usage of them affect us? When examining the time you spend on these websites, how much times is spent communicating with others versus time spent looking at others (often people you've only met once or barely know), playing games, "liking" random stuff, etc.? How deep are the connections you make on Facebook, Twitter, and the like?
Aside from connecting with people, social media is also a place where people can support products, ideas, or causes. Is online support making changes in the real world? Yes and no. It's a place to organize people and get the word out, but as Malcolm Gladwell writes, "The revolution will not be tweeted. Social media can't always provide what social change has required." Our actions on social media can't take the place of physical action. Although social media is revolutionizing our time in many ways, we can't expect it to do everything for us. There are still things we have to do without it.
As a society, we need to examine whether we are using a tool or whether the tool is using us. We don't do enough of that. This post got me thinking a lot about digital clutter and how the way I spend my time online affects me. Are you aware of how you use social media? Do you manage your use of it? What are we gaining from using these social media tools? Is it worth the time we put into them? Is there a cost involved for us to use these tools? If you think social media is helpful or a waste of time, either way that's great. What matters is that we're making a conscious, well thought out decision about our use (or non-use) of social media and other technological tools.
I recently heard someone say, "social media is to relationships what fast food is to nutrition — a quick way to feel like we’ve gotten what we need. But when compared with what we really need, what we get is insubstantial." I see some truth in that statement. Nonetheless, there is no doubt that social networking websites can help us to keep in touch with far away friends, reconnect with long lost ones, and meet new people. However, how aware are we of how social media websites and our usage of them affect us? When examining the time you spend on these websites, how much times is spent communicating with others versus time spent looking at others (often people you've only met once or barely know), playing games, "liking" random stuff, etc.? How deep are the connections you make on Facebook, Twitter, and the like?
Aside from connecting with people, social media is also a place where people can support products, ideas, or causes. Is online support making changes in the real world? Yes and no. It's a place to organize people and get the word out, but as Malcolm Gladwell writes, "The revolution will not be tweeted. Social media can't always provide what social change has required." Our actions on social media can't take the place of physical action. Although social media is revolutionizing our time in many ways, we can't expect it to do everything for us. There are still things we have to do without it.
As a society, we need to examine whether we are using a tool or whether the tool is using us. We don't do enough of that. This post got me thinking a lot about digital clutter and how the way I spend my time online affects me. Are you aware of how you use social media? Do you manage your use of it? What are we gaining from using these social media tools? Is it worth the time we put into them? Is there a cost involved for us to use these tools? If you think social media is helpful or a waste of time, either way that's great. What matters is that we're making a conscious, well thought out decision about our use (or non-use) of social media and other technological tools.
Friday, January 21, 2011
the substitute singer
Though I was unable to prove the events of this tale, this event supposedly happened many years ago in the Paris Opera. On the night when a famous tenor was to perform, the packed house was told he would not be able to attend due to traffic.
Concerned, the director of the Opera appeared on the stage to explain what was happening and to ask for a local tenor to act as a substitute.
The audience reacted as expected; with discomfort. Some spectators rose and asked for their money back, while others simply waited to see what lay in store for them, seeing that they had instructed their chauffeurs and made reservations for dinner, and did not quite know how to kill the time.
The substitute tenor came on stage and did the best he could. For two hours he sang with all his heart and soul. At the end, there was almost complete silence.
Then one spectator applauded, and a child’s voice was heard, “Daddy, you were great! Just great!”
The next moment, the whole theater gave a standing ovation; a simple word of love had changed everything.
[I originally read this story here.]
Concerned, the director of the Opera appeared on the stage to explain what was happening and to ask for a local tenor to act as a substitute.
The audience reacted as expected; with discomfort. Some spectators rose and asked for their money back, while others simply waited to see what lay in store for them, seeing that they had instructed their chauffeurs and made reservations for dinner, and did not quite know how to kill the time.
The substitute tenor came on stage and did the best he could. For two hours he sang with all his heart and soul. At the end, there was almost complete silence.
Then one spectator applauded, and a child’s voice was heard, “Daddy, you were great! Just great!”
The next moment, the whole theater gave a standing ovation; a simple word of love had changed everything.
[I originally read this story here.]
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
rhythm
Our lives move to a Rhythm-- something so big and beyond us that moves us through life. When we dance to music, rhythm literally moves us. Rhythm also can easily be found throughout nature. There is the rising and setting of the sun, the seasons, a heartbeat, life and death, the waves and tides of the ocean, and so on. I think rhythm is so much more than music, dance, and nature's cycles. It's difficult to put rhythm into words, because it's simply felt. You don't think about rhythm. People who are 'bad dancers' aren't good dancers because they are over-thinking dancing. You just feel it and dancing happens.
Rhythm is something you just fall in tune with. I believe that we can live our lives that way too. We can come in tune with Life. There isn't a recipe for it. It's unique for every person, but when you find it, you just know. Some cultures have found Rhythm more easily than others (see video below), and I think there are a variety of reasons for that. However the most important thing is that it can be found, so we should try to look for it.
In order to dance to Life, you must first feel the Rhythm...
Rhythm is something you just fall in tune with. I believe that we can live our lives that way too. We can come in tune with Life. There isn't a recipe for it. It's unique for every person, but when you find it, you just know. Some cultures have found Rhythm more easily than others (see video below), and I think there are a variety of reasons for that. However the most important thing is that it can be found, so we should try to look for it.
In order to dance to Life, you must first feel the Rhythm...
Foli: There Is No Movement Without Rhythm
Friday, January 14, 2011
Hopi thoughts
Hopi Elder Speaks
"You have been telling the people that this is the 11th Hour,
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour.
And there are things to be considered:
Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?
Know your garden.
It is time to speak your truth.
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader."
Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said, "This could be a very good time! There is a river now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those that will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly."
"Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water." "And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves. For the moment we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt."
"The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves."
"Banish the word struggle from your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration."
"We are the ones we have been waiting for."
Oraibe, Arizona
Hopi Nation
"You have been telling the people that this is the 11th Hour,
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour.
And there are things to be considered:
Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?
Know your garden.
It is time to speak your truth.
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader."
Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said, "This could be a very good time! There is a river now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those that will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly."
"Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water." "And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves. For the moment we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt."
"The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves."
"Banish the word struggle from your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration."
"We are the ones we have been waiting for."
Oraibe, Arizona
Hopi Nation
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
the power of vulnerability
I like what she has to say, and the sociologist in me loves that she can back it up with research. It's true: connection is what defines our existence. In order to connect, we have to be seen. It's our decision to let our guards down, take our masks off, and be vulnerable. I pray we all have the courage to do so...
Sunday, January 9, 2011
masks
Everyone wears them-- all different shapes and sizes. Allowing only a select few, and sometimes no one at all, to see behind them. We claim to hide from other people, from pain, from the past, from the future... We try to be what we want others to see. But we truly only end up hiding from ourselves.
"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
–James Baldwin
Love is power.
Learn love.
"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
–James Baldwin
Love is power.
Learn love.
Friday, January 7, 2011
too much technology
Currently, I'm living and working abroad in Morocco. A recent trip home to America for the holidays has got me thinking about life in these very different developed and developing worlds. As I sat in the airport attempting to catch up with a friend over the phone, I had two TV's blaring at me, a woman calling out over the loud speaker every 5 or 10 minutes, and not to mention hundreds of people moving this way and that trying to get to where they wanted to go. I couldn't stay on the phone for long. It was too much between the TV's, the loudspeaker, and the phone. I couldn't focus at all. There isn't the same level of technological stimulation in my face every day in Morocco.
A friend recently told me about how he saw an American family that was touring Morocco. He saw them sitting outside a cafe. The father sat completely enthralled by the pictures he was scanning through on his digital camera. The oldest daughter sat with her ipod on completely into her music and not paying much attention to the world around her. The youngest child sat completely mesmerized by the game he was playing on his ipad. My friend watched as the mother walked out of a near by store, walked over, picked up her purse, and went off to carry on with her shopping. Here are four people all together in the same place, but having zero interaction.
How does technology affect us socially and mentally? It has this ability to pull us into our own world. While I was home, I was completely entranced by my cousin's video games. I have never been one for video games before, but something just sucked me in. I've also heard it said before that one of the reasons why copious amounts of TV watching for small children isn't good, because it gives them a false sense of control over the universe. They can decide what they want to watch, when they want to watch something, when to change the channel, and so on. While technology entertains us, it can isolate us as well. A lot of the times, it's hard to even be aware of it or even if we are aware, it's hard to disconnect from it. I just hope we don't end up like those fatties in the movie Wall-E with nothing in front of us except a computer screen (see image above).
Monday, January 3, 2011
percolating thoughts (#6)
['Percolating thoughts' is an on-going collection of quotes I have found and gained wisdom from. These are the ones that I've recently discovered and that I'm currently sitting with and reflecting on...]
"It's not where you look that matters, it's what you see."
-Anonymous
"Every difficulty, disharmony and obstacle is either because we refuse to let go of what we no longer need, or refuse to accept what we require.”
-Anonymous
"If you want to shrink something, you must first expand it. If you want to get rid of something, you must first allow it to flourish."
"It's not where you look that matters, it's what you see."
-Anonymous
"Every difficulty, disharmony and obstacle is either because we refuse to let go of what we no longer need, or refuse to accept what we require.”
-Anonymous
"If you want to shrink something, you must first expand it. If you want to get rid of something, you must first allow it to flourish."
-Tao
"Knowing other people is intelligence, knowing yourself is power. Mastering other people is strength, mastering yourself is power. If you realize that what you have is enough, you are truly rich."
-Tao
"If you want to be whole, you must first be partial. If you want to be straight, you must first bee crooked. If you want to be full, you must first become empty. If you want to be reborn, you must first die. If you want everything, give up everything. If you don't display yourself, people will see your light. If you have nothing to prove, people will trust you. If you don't try to be something, people will see themselves in you."
-Tao
"If you want to be whole, you must first be partial. If you want to be straight, you must first bee crooked. If you want to be full, you must first become empty. If you want to be reborn, you must first die. If you want everything, give up everything. If you don't display yourself, people will see your light. If you have nothing to prove, people will trust you. If you don't try to be something, people will see themselves in you."
-Tao
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